Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
