i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
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