dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
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