She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
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