Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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