You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize