I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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