I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
dude. I can hear the air.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
