How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
How naked do you want me to be?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
