There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Randomize
