Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
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