are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
