6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Randomize
