Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
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