the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize