you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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