Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
