I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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