That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
it's like iHOP with fire
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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