coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Randomize
