I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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