Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
