This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
