im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
