the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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