i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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