drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Randomize
