remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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