so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
