I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
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