He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
