dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
