DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
