And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
