Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize