If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
We got so high we made milksteak
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize