he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
