That's when you crack a 10am beer
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
