so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Randomize
