There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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