The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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