quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
