Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
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