C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
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