I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
