how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
