I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
