I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
Randomize
