Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
