I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
