im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
