It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
