I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
