there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
