marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
