I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
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