So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
you will always have a special place in my vag
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize