I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
